Guy Ritchie has been doing the best work of his career lately, and working at a faster pace than ever, but he swings and misses with the bland, derivative Apple adventure, Fountain of Youth. Promoted as something akin to Romancing the Stone, what we actually get is something closer to a poor man’s National Treasure, hobbled by the inescapable feeling that it’s been minimized to be a streaming event rather than a theatrical blockbuster. Despite a game cast led by John Krasinski, Natalie Portman, Domhnall Gleeson, and Eiza Gonzalez, Fountain of Youth is surprisingly unfunny and forgettable, hardly a gem to be discovered on Apple TV+.
Krasinski stars as Luke Purdue, a treasure hunter with no qualms about working with, or stealing from, the criminal element. When we first meet him it’s in Thailand as he’s being pursued by a crime boss’s thugs for stealing his priceless piece of art. So Luke basically works for whoever can pay him most, which goes against everything taught to him by his late father. It’s also what has kept him estranged by his more serious younger sister, Charlotte, played by Portman. Charlotte wants nothing to do with Luke or his schemes, but finds herself dragged into a plot to find the fabled Fountain of Youth, bankrolled by ailing billionaire Owen Carver (Gleeson), who hopes the waters of immortality can save his life.
A potentially fun, swashbuckling premise is bogged down by stale writing and underwhelming setpieces. Luke isn’t much of a hero, and his motivations are foggy throughout. He’s kind of a clown, making awkward flirtations with mysterious agent Esme (Gonzalez) who is hot on their trail. He’s no Indiana Jones, that’s for sure; he’s not even Brendan Fraser’s goofy but courageous Rick O’Connell from The Mummy films. Luke is just sort of “meh” all around. He seeks the rarest items in the world for the pure joy of discovery and the glory it brings to the family name, rather than for money. But he also seems completely oblivious, perhaps deliberately ignorant, to the motivations of the people he works for. It just makes for a protagonist we can’t really root for.
Portman’s Charlotte is a bit more interesting, but only slightly so. Charlotte’s primary concern is her brilliant (and quite useful) son Thomas as she navigates a divorce from his father. But Thomas is more drawn to his cool, globe-trotting uncle than Charlotte would like, and she finds herself roped into this adventure whether she likes it or not. Too often, she’s like a character that’s just along for the ride, occasionally complaining about it, but not crucial to the story. That does improve later on when Charlotte loses some of her skepticism. Fountain of Youth tries to establish a Mulder/Scully-type dynamic between the siblings, but James Vanderbilt’s screenplay isn’t rich enough to really see it through.
As an action vehicle, Fountain of Youth is underwhelming for a Guy Ritchie movie. There are a couple of decent fights, mostly between Luke and Esme, which are always sexually-charged affairs rather than all-out brawls. Ritchie has learned a lot from his old Sherlock Holmes movies and he’s better at keeping the excessive camera tricks in check. He still employs slo-mo and other gimmicks when shooting fights but in a more controlled fashion. Fountain of Youth isn’t dull by any means, and it looks great having been shot in Vienna, Bangkok, and Liverpool by DP Ed Wild, but it’s not overly exciting, either.
The supporting cast doesn’t get much to do, almost to an embarrassing degree when it comes to Laz Alonso and Carmen Ejogo. Neither has any business being in a movie that asks so little of them. Their characters, the former team of Luke and Charlotte’s father, contribute little to the solving of the mystery and just seem to be carried from place to place like luxury handbags. Arian Moayed as Interpol Inspector Abbas is the classic “always one step behind” authority figure.
Fountain of Youth keeps up a decent pace for a little while, but it’s tough to sustain as the characters go from one library to another, stopping to solve rather mundane riddles. Without a real antagonist to deal with, the squabbling siblings are all there is to lean on and the writing isn’t clever enough to keep that up for long. The stars are all having a blast, though, that much is clear. It’s fun to watch Krasinski and Portman, in particular, in a movie like this because they so rarely get to do this sort of thing anymore. That much is enough to make Fountain of Youth a decent time-waster you can watch at home, but chances are you’ll forget this treasure was ever unearthed.
Fountain of Youth is streaming now on Apple TV+.
