Let’s be honest about something here; the Scary Movie franchise has never been that good. I know, we all like to think all of the old shit was great, but nostalgia is a deceptive a-hole. Sure, the original movie in 2000 was a fun riff on a resurgent horror genre, but it was already showing age by the 2001 sequel, the final film that featured the Wayans family before they left, quit, were fired, whatever. Now, twenty-five years later, the Wayans crew is back with the sixth movie, a reboot and spiritual sequel to the first two movies, often crapping on the lame Wayans-less sequels that followed. But if there was hope the Wayans’ could bring back the funny, those hopes are quickly dashed in a laugh-free comedy that is more painful than a Ghostface stab to the nether regions.
Every Wayans comes out of the woodwork to piece together a shit show of a script, one that brings back all of the favorite characters from the first two movies. Marlon Wayans returns as smoked-out Shorty Meeks, now a streamer makin’ mad cash. Shawn Wayans is deeply closeted Ray, a veritable fountain of misplaced homophobic “humor”. Most promising are the returns of Anna Faris and Regina Hall as best buds Cindy Campbell and Brenda Meeks. It quickly becomes clear that both Faris and Hall are way too good for this shit.
So what’s the plot? What passes for one involves a reunion of Shorty, Ray, Cindy, and Brenda when the same Ghostface who attacked them decades ago returns, this time targeting their kids. Yes, it’s basically the plot of Scream 7, only somehow less humorous and way too meta for its own good.
Don’t get me wrong, being self-aware is a necessity and one of the things that the original Scary Movie films got right. Making fun of horror tropes is all part of the deal. But this time, they’re more obsessed with recounting the failures of the franchise, as if the Wayans’ are disgruntled employees taking shots at a former employer. Far too many of the jokes bring what little narrative momentum to a halt so someone from the Wayans family tree can break the fourth wall to explain how shit went wrong without them. Other attempted gags have no punchlines at all.
The misguided nature of Scary Movie, poking fun at popular culture from ages ago, makes it feel instantly out of date. There are pretty weak jabs taken at recent hits such as Weapons and Sinners, but why are we still seeing jokes about Get Out and It Follows in 2026? Jokes about COVID-19 expired like three years ago. Where have these people been?
Here’s the thing: Scary Movie will probably do well this weekend. The franchise is culturally iconic, and sometimes you just want something to turn your brain off to and enjoy. That’s fine. But those who do buy a ticket are going to find that Scary Movie ran out of ideas more than two decades ago, before most of its audience was even born. It doesn’t even manage to be so bad it’s good. As someone who has been entertained by the Wayans’ most of my life, the failure of Scary Movie is extremely disappointing. They can do better than this, and hopefully in the future, they will.
Scary Movie is in theaters now.
