Synopsis: In Grotesque, A gang of crazed punkers breaks into a family’s vacation home in the mountains and slaughters the entire family, except for one daughter who gets away. As the gang pursues the girl through the snow, they are chased by a murderous deformed creature.
This extremely low budget, direct to tape “horror” movie begins with Lisa (Linda Blair) heading to her family’s vacation home with her friend Kathy (Donna Wilkes). When they arrive where we are treated to a little scare from her makeup effects artist father, testing out some of his new latex appliances. Soon after, some over-the-top punkers arrive, picture Bobcat Goldthwait’s character in Police Academy 3 to the nth degree. They begin tearing up the place looking for the loot and ending up slaughtering most of the family as well as Kathy with Lisa escaping into the snow covered woods. The punkers give chase but are tailed by a hulking disfigured man. Police eventually arrive, find the family and track down the remaining punkers only to have them accuse the disfigured man for the deaths. Believing the punkers, the cops shoot and kill him. Kathy is now in the hospital and Linda Blair is essentially out of the movie with the focus shifting to her plastic surgeon uncle Rod (Tab Hunter) who tracks down the punkers to exact his revenge. At this point, shit goes completely off the rails. Between the big reveal and what happens pre-credits this flick is all over the place and makes me wonder, how high was Joe Tornatore?
I just don’t know where to begin with this one. This is the definition of a “B” movie through and through. With the nonsensical acting and elementary effects, this flick felt like a high school production. It was like a slow-motion train wreck that you couldn’t look away from. You had to keep watching just to see what they were going to try to dish up next. I honestly wondered halfway through if this was just a money laundering operation. I mean, I’m not making any accusations but cocaine was big in the 80’s. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place for “B” movies but some are just scraping the bottom of the barrel and this is a prime example of that.
My sole reason for watching this one was because it starred Linda Blair but even she couldn’t save this one. Honestly it’s kind of sad to see what she was reduced to doing for a paycheck but I digress.
Just for consistency I’ll let you know that this one is streaming on Tubi but do yourself a favor and find another way to waste 89 minutes.
Join me again tomorrow and see if we can find something better as we tumble down the horror rabbit hole.
