Matters of the heart look differently to everyone. What might appear to be kink to you, could be pure love to another. Do we learn to love at the same time that we develop our kinks? Or are we only capable of true love when we fully embrace our sexual quirks and not be ashamed of them? I don’t know the answer to those questions. There’s probably some expert out there who does. In Harry Lighton’s feature debut, Pillion, it’s not until one shy man learns to accept who he is sexually that he also learns to open his heart to another. Whether that person deserves his love is another question entirely.
Harry Melling plays the sweet, bashful Colin, a gay man who lives at home with his caring parents (Douglas Hodge, Lesley Sharp) who are all up in his business at all times. His mom, dying of terminal cancer, just want to see her lonely boy happy, so she tries to set him up on dates that go nowhere. Colin sings in his Dad’s barber shop quartet, and somehow manages to look like the cool guy among them.
It’s during one of these sad shows that Colin catches the intense eye of leather-clad biker, Ray, played by Alexander Skarsgard. Skarsgard, with his towering, lean, muscular build and intimidating gaze, is someone that you would fear running into in a dark alley if you weren’t so turned on by him. In fact, Ray literally commands Colin meet him in said dark alley, where he orders the timid lad to give him a blowjob. Shocking, yes, but Colin kinda digs being ordered around. It isn’t long before Colin is doing everything Ray demands that he do; cooking, cleaning, shopping, and even sleeping on the floor like a dog.
But does Colin enjoy being the submissive for Ray? Or does he enjoy it for himself? Pillion, which is the seated position behind a motorcyclist, is about Colin’s journey of self-discovery. This is a love story, but it’s as much about Colin learning to love himself as anything to do with Ray. Colin tries to fit in with Ray’s hip motorcycle crew: he begins wearing leather jackets, even goes so far as to shave his head. Ray treats him like a pet, sometimes, but others he can be surprisingly tender.
What’s up with Ray, though? He reveals practically nothing about himself, making us wonder why Colin is into him other than physical attraction. Is he just using Colin? Ray’s control over Colin borders on sexual dysfunction and dangerous manipulation. Does it even matter if Colin is a willing particpant? Colin’s mom sure thinks so, and dares to speak her mind to Ray over the dinner table, after he’s been guilted into attending. His response doesn’t do anything to assuage her fears or ours. Again, does it matter what she or anyone thinks if Colin wants that for himself and nobody is getting hurt?
Many people have pitched Pillion as a kind of LGTBQ spin on Fifty Shades of Grey, but I think that does a disservice. There’s a much better love story here, and it isn’t nearly as explicit as some have tried to make it out to be. I think those who say that only mean that we don’t see gay male relationships presented in this fashion in a mainstream romance. In fact, I think Lighton could’ve pushed the envelope a bit further. The film feels shaped to appeal to the widest possible audience, and that includes the dissatisfyingly ambiguous conclusion. Lighton also excludes any conversation about consent, a key facet of any BDSM arrangement.
That said, Skarsgard and Melling are fantastic and I couldn’t imagine anyone else in their roles. Skarsgard, fresh from playing the passively aggressive, toxic male filmmaker in The Moment, is pure animal magnetism and authoritative control as Ray. But the thing about Ray is that he’s also clearly scarred by something in his past that has made him hold back. That repressed side can only be contained for so long, and he lets it loose with Colin or when he’s with his biker pack.
Melling is moving, funny, and at times tragic as Colin, who is on a sexual journey he doesn’t even know that he’s on. Colin is our entryway into a BDSM community that is so much more than the stereotypes, and if Pillion opens eyes to a greater depiction of male relationships on the big screen, then Hollywood will be better for it.
Pillion opens in DC on February 13th.
