It’s so much worse to be a disappointing movie than a straight-up bad one. To be disappointing means to have let down people who expected more, to have underwhelmed to such a degree that assholes like me take time to put you on a damn list. All of these movies I went in expecting a lot from, and they pulled the rug right out from under me with how mid they were. Let’s go.
Check out my picks for the most disappointing movies of 2023 below! And when you’re done, why not check out the movies I thought were pretty great?
THEATER CAMP-Just watch Todd Graff’s 2003 film Camp. It’s so much better, has more to say about drama kids, has better jokes, more talent on display, and it didn’t need a bunch of favors called in to friends who could be doing better things.
ANT-MAN & THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA: An awful year for Marvel Studios was led by this dubious sequel, an utterly charmless piece of blah that now has the unfortunate distinction of being associated with Jonathan Majors. Scott Lang can’t shrink himself small enough to get away from this one.
CREED III-The second of two Jonathan Majors movies on this list, Creed 3 shows all of director Michael B. Jordan’s inexperience behind the camera. The punches hit hard but little else does.
RENFIELD-How do you fuck up Nicolas Cage as Count Dracula? Give all of the screen time to Nicholas Hoult so he can suck all of the blood from this lifeless horror comedy.
BEAU IS AFRAID-Ari Aster should keep all of his mommy issues and personal anxiety to himself rather than inflicting it on us for three hours.
MEG 2: The Trench-Jason Statham, welcome to your Jaws: The Revenge moment.
VACATION FRIENDS 2-The first Vacation Friends was a summer treat. This pathetic sequel, with the worst Rotten Tomatoes score in over a decade for John Cena, is less funny than unpaid overtime.
NEXT GOAL WINS-Taika Waititi proved that Thor: Love & Thunder was no fluke, it was the start of a mediocre trend.
WISH-Maybe Disney should invest in more blue genies?
EXPEND4BLES-I love The Expendables franchise no matter how often it lets me down, and this terrible sequel, likely the last one, was so bad Sylvester Stallone had one foot out the door before a single frame was shot. It’s almost like he didn’t think things would improve by adding Megan Fox and 50 Cent! Perish the thought.