It took me quite a while to sort out my feelings about Lynne Ramsay’s Die My Love. I find that’s always the case with Ramsay’s films, whether it be We Need to Talk About Kevin or You Were Never Really Here. Because Ramsay doesn’t make movies that you’re necessarily meant to enjoy. They are stark reflections of reality, often showing how everyday troubles can quickly become nightmarish. Such is the case with Jennifer Lawrence’s character, Grace, who slowly descends into madness due to postpartem depression, loneliness, and boredom.
Postpartem depression is a very real thing that new mothers face, but in Die My Love it is a freakish, horrible whirlwind of disaster. In the beginning, Grace, an aspiring writer, and her husband Jackson, played by Robert Pattinson, have sex like rabbits. They sing to the tune of John Prine and Iris DeMent’s folk song “In Spite of Ourselves”, about a couple that’s terrible for one another but they stick together and remain happy nonetheless, getting “it on like the Easter bunny.” But then Grace has a baby, and suddenly there’s very little sex…then no sex at all. In an early scene, a hazy but playful Grace is a little too close to the child while carrying a butcher knife. We’re immediately put on edge. It won’t be the last time we see that knife.
Ramsay thrusts into the confining cage that is Grace’s life right from the start. Their dilapidated Montana home is in the middle of nowhere. It used to belong to Jackson’s uncle who killed himself inside of it. Lots of hard feelings about that. Sissy Spacek plays Jackson’s mother, Pam, who admits she was a bit loopy after giving birth, too, and has begun sleepwalking at night. Grace isn’t hearing any of it, even though she really should. Nick Nolte plays Pam’s husband, who suffers from dementia and the violent rages that come along with it. This is not a healthy environment for Grace, much less a child.
Die My Love was adapted by Ramsay, Enda Walsh, and Alice Birch based on Ariana Harwicz’s novel, and its strengths are the boldness of Ramsay’s direction and the lead performance by Lawrence. Ramsay’s not going to spell anything out for you, she’s unapologetic in the choices that are made. The intense color scheme and anarchic score underline Grace’s violent mood swings and unpredictable behavior. But Ramsay doesn’t hammer us over the head with showy confrontations that lose their impact over time. Grace is a powder keg with a fuse that’s always lit. Eventually, a deep uncomfortable feeling sets in and every time we see her alone with someone we get wary. She’s liable to insult the checkout girl at a grocery for no reason as she is to strip down at a birthday party and jump into the pool. In one hilarious scene, because this movie has an extremely dark sense of humor, Grace harasses poor Jackson while he’s driving, demanding that they fuck as soon as they get back home. The way they used to back when she was happy. It doesn’t turn out well, because of course it doesn’t. In a way, Grace’s madness is probably a big part of her appeal to Jackson, and that in itself is pretty sad, especially as she spirals into self harm.
A lousy drawback is the inclusion of LaKeith Stanfield as a mysterious neighbor who Grace begins to fascinate about. He scouts her openly while on his motorcycle, then appears in the nearby shed, only to emerge later at a store parking lot. He’s everywhere, and as reality and delusion blur it’s unclear what’s going on, but no matter what Stanfield’s character is under-written and adds little. This is Jennifer Lawrence’s show, and she’s magnificent, tragic, intensely carnal, and continues to show what a great mind for comedy she has. She’s just such an instictive, natural performer, while Pattinson is the perfect counterpart as he’s more mindful and deliberate. They are, in a lot of ways, like Grace and Jackson. Kindred spirits who couldn’t be more different. You can see why they are infatuated with one another but also why they would drive each other nuts.
Movies about women on the brink are pretty common, but rather than showing how a sane woman goes nuts, Die My Love goes in a different direction. Grace is pretty wild right from the jump, and if anything, she has only become more like herself. What looks like a woman unraveling, is a woman coming into her own. And that’s why Jackson loves Grace, and why this insanity might be what brings them closer together, in spite of themselves.
Die My Love is in theaters now via MUBI.
