Synopsis: Three siblings begin to kill people with a woodchipper while their father is away on a trip.
Woodchipper Massacre, by all means shouldn’t even have crossed my radar. Shot completely on a camcorder, with a $400 dollar budget in just 2 months. The film’s star, Jon (Jon McBride) wrote, directed, acted and scored this interesting little piece of history. This ultra low-budget dark comedy was surprisingly fun. More fun than it really deserved to be. The quirky dialogue hidden within the tinny over-scored soundtrack gives this flick a homemade charm. It reminds me of the stuff I used to piece together in my younger years. Armed with nothing but an over-the-shoulder VHS camcorder, a group of friends and an idea.
The story takes place when the dad (Perren Page) heads out of town for a work related trip. Leaving the trio of children in the care of their religious, overbearing aunt Tess (Patricia McBride). A murder “accidentally” occurs and they are left with their aunt’s body to deal with. So, what do you do in this situation? You freeze the body and feed it through the wood chipper conveniently sitting outside, of course. Soon after, aunt Tess’ miscreant son shows up looking for his mother and money. They decide to get rid of him in the same manner as Tess because, in for a penny, in for a pound. It concludes with an 80’s style montage of the three siblings cleaning up the house and yard before dad arrives back home.
By no means is Woodchipper Massacre a good film. It’s terribly acted and filled with washed out shots due to using whatever light is available. It has a headache inducing soundtrack. It’s campy and it’s bad but it’s also self-aware and at a brisk 80 minutes, it never gets boring. Apparently, the film’s plot was loosely based on the 1986 Newtown, Connecticut murder of Helle Crafts. She was beaten to death, placed in the freezer and subsequently fed through a wood chipper. McBride got it on film 8 years before the Coen brothers made Fargo. So at least it has that going for it.
I’m not saying the Woodchipper Massacre is going to blow you out of the water. But it was adequate entertainment. It was 80 minutes of campy fun with a little nostalgia to boot. I know for me it was a welcome distraction from the dark stuff I’ve been watching lately.
If you want to check it out for yourself, I found this one streaming on Tubi.
So grab your popcorn, kill the lights and join me again tomorrow as we continue our journey on this strange little trip down the 31 Days of Horror rabbit hole. See you soon…
2.5 out of 5
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