Dating sucks. Online dating is worse. And if you listen to true crime podcasts obsessively like I do, there’s no shortage of weariness that the person you swiped right on might be a homicidal maniac. Laura Murphy’s F Marry Kill gets the true crime obsession and dating Hellscape exactly right, aided by an enjoyably goofball performance by Lucy Hale. While the film is an entertaining, comical mystery much of the way, an absolutely horrendous conclusion will have you wishing they’d swiped left.
Hale is a lot of fun as Eva, a 30-year-old woman newly single after being dumped by her douchey ex-boyfriend Jake after eight years together. Eva, stuck in a rut and working as an assistant for her best friend Kelly (Virginia Gardner), has no interest in dating again. At least not until she sees that Jake has moved on, then she’s swiping right and getting smooches from every guy she can on the Tinder-esque app of her choosing.
Okay, cool, Eva’s a woman on the rebound. That’s natural, to get back out there and play the field. The problem is that Boulder, CO’s dating scene is unusually dangerous as there’s a serial killer out there, dubbed the “Swipe Right Killer”, sticking his dates with more than the dinner bill.
Eva and her clique favor the drunk dating game “Fuck Marry Kill”, which is perfect because there are three new dudes in her life…and maybe one of them is the serial killer? Why does she come to think such an absurd thing? Well, because dating sucks, dudes are shady, some are violent, some are too nice to be normal (this is an ugly trope the film perpetuates at the worst possible time), and because true crime has beaten into our heads to never trust anybody. That last point hit home particularly hard with me, as I’m sure it will for a lot of people.
Eva’s dating escapades are actually quite enjoyable to watch, because she flies against type for your typical rom-com female. She encounters three wildly different men: smokin’ hot sex machine Mitch (Brendan Morgan), rich veterinarian and old friend Kyle (Jedidiah Goodacre), and weird/nice aspiring forensic tech Norman (Samer Salem). Eva’s a bit of a mess, and juggling guys is not something she’s equipped to handle. One night she’s getting hot and heavy with Mitch and the next she’s having an awkward park encounter with Kyle, while keeping Norman one foot in the Friend Zone. But as she plays the field, she’s also kind of investigating these guys who all have at least one thing in common with the killer, and…well, keeping a secret like that is a good way to keep them at arm’s length, too. Dating not only sucks, it’s hard. Throughout, Hale’s performance as Eva is genuine and funny. Not having watched Pretty Little Liars or very many of her movies, Hale’s comedic gifts came as a welcome surprise to me. F Marry Kill sometimes plays like a stoner mystery and Hale’s portrayal of a delightfully sloppy Eva fits right in.
For all of the things F Marry Kill gets right, so much of it is also downright terrible. Penned by a trio of screenwriters, the film’s tonal incoherence is glaring. It’s not particularly thrilling, but we’re expected to be thrilled. The comedy takes precedent but that undercuts any sense of danger that Eva is in. As alluded to earlier, the final act is an outright disaster as the narrative shifts in a way that doesn’t reward your investment in the movie at all. It scans as a desperate gamble so lame it not only demands lengthy, overwrought explanation, but accompanying self-aware ridicule.
That said, Hale is such a charmer that you can be forgiven for looking past the red flags. F Marry Kill is a lot like a perfect dinner date, ruined by something stupid said over dessert.
F Marry Kill is open now via Lionsgate.
